How to find out if your friend is gay

Someone who is coming out feels close enough to you and trusts you sufficiently to be honest and risk losing you as a friend. It can be difficult to know what to say and what to do to be a supportive friend to someone who has “come out” to you. Below are some suggestions you may wish to follow.

• Thank your friend for having the courage to tell you. Choosing to tell you means that they have a great deal of respect and trust for you.
• Don’t judge your comrade. If you have strong religious or other beliefs about LGBTIQ communitites, keep them to yourself for now. There will be plenty of time in the future for you to ponder and talk about your opinions in light of your friend’s identity.
• Respect your friend’s confidentiality. Allow them the honesty to share what they wish, when and how they yearn to.
• Tell your partner that you still care about them, no matter what. Be the friend you have always been. The main fear for people coming out is that their friends and family will reject them.
• Don’t be too serious. Sensitively worded humor may ease the t

  Understanding the Situation

  Sexual orientation is a personal matter, and unless your friend explicitly tells you, you can never be % sure. However, if you’re wondering whether your confidant might be queer , either because you suspect they’re struggling with their culture or you believe they might own feelings for you, it’s important to approach the topic with sensitivity and respect.

  Here are some common signs that might indicate your friend is queer and how to navigate the situation without making assumptions or making them uncomfortable.

  1. They Dodge Talking About Their Love Life

  If your friend dodges conversations about crushes or relationships but is comfortable talking about every other aspect of their existence, it might be because they’re not ready to converse their sexual orientation.

  Examples:

  • They change the subject when someone asks about their online dating life.
  • They rarely refer any romantic interests.
  • They seem uncomfortable when discussing relationships with the opposite gender.

  This doesn’t necessarily express they’re gay, some people are just private, but if
  
  

  How Do I Help My Gay Friend?

  by D’Ann Davis

  “How do I help my gay friend?”  This is a question we catch constantly in the Living Hope office, when out speaking at events, or from friends and church members from around the world.  Twenty years ago few Christians asked this question, for few knew any same gender attracted people, or if they did know them, they were ignorant to their friend’s struggles.  Today almost everyone knows of someone who identifies as homosexual or deals with a measure of same gender attractions.  Even if a Christian finds himself in a season of being where he does not personally know of a same gender attracted (SGA) person in his sphere of influence, this interrogate is of utmost importance in light of the change of our society and the growing willingness of Christians dealing with SGA to openly converse about their issues.  So how does one aid a gay-identified friend or SGA friend?

  The first response I typically give to this question is actually another question.  “Does your friend know Jesus?”  This is a vital first question any believer must tackle before attem

  If someone close to you comes out as sapphic, gay, bisexual or gender diverse, you may be unsure about how you experience about it or how to respond.

  It is key to let the person know that you still care about them, even if you don&#;t realize it all straight away.

  Regardless of your initial thoughts or feelings, remember that just because someone identifies as lesbian, gay, attracted to both genders or transgender, for the most part it doesn&#;t change who they are or were and doesn&#;t make them any less of a friend or family member.

  What is vital is that you attempt your best to sustain them, even if you&#;re unsure how you notice right now, and that you are willing to try and learn more about what their sexuality or gender identity means to them.

  My friend/family member has come out as lesbian, gay or bisexual

  Think about how you felt about them before they told you &#; question yourself why this would change just because they are attracted to people of the same gender or are attracted to more than one gender. Who they are attracted to doesn&#;t change who they are as a person.

  It&#;s OK to allow